Reason 2847958472 why I LOVE Jon Stewart.
A lot of dudes think women dress slutty for them, but honestly if men weren’t such fucking animals I would dress 300000% more slutty then I do now. You people ruin everything.
I wanna wear this shit outside god damn it.
Oh my god SO TRUE. I would constantly wear thigh highs and short skirts and underbust corsets because I look so fucking good. God forbid women like their OWN bodies, too.
For real !! like 90 % of my fucking wardrobe now is just for cam cause it’s too sexy to wear in public. Fucking bullshit. I use to wear thigh highs with garters with shorts a lot but I got sooo many comments. Fucking… people. You literally just saw the tops of my thighs. But all the dudes are like ‘Why wear that if you don’t want attention???’ cause i look fine as hell and I don’t give a shit about some fucking random broke ass dudes on the corner.
I can’t even express how much this describes my feelings. Bitch I wear my corsets and my fishnets and my heels the size you wish your dick was because they make me feel fucking fabulous, not because I want you to tell me how much you’d like to “smash” me.
Heels the size you wish your dick was.
The last uncontaminated lands on our planet. I love nordic countries.
ESTP: super attractive physically but it’s all downhill from there. never quite know what they’re going to do next but you can probably bet it will be irresponsible. somehow still lovable.
ESTJ: loud, logical, and get shit done — they are the warrior class of the life rpg. power stats make them unbeatable and if you encounter one, maybe just curl up and forfeit, to save time.
ESFP: giggly little shits. fun fun fun till her daddy takes the t-bird away. great for lifting your mood, not that great at lifting your credit score.
ESFJ: too appropriate, totally lacking in awkwardness. they’ll never forget your birthday, which will make you feel like shit when you constantly forget theirs.
ENTP: excellent companions if you enjoy people who instantly see through all your shit. very clever and very intuitive, you can’t fool them. i suggest you invest in other friends — ones you *can* fool.
ENTJ: impatient with people who make mistakes, namely, everyone. they’ll respect you if you stand up to them but why do that when you can run away instead. cuddle them and see what happens. i’m curious.
ENFP: too puppy to live. best suited for the profession of musical nanny. not advised for use around an open flame.
ENFJ: way too charming and capable, maybe they should stop making everyone else look bad. prone to making other people care about stuff they didn’t want to care about. so annoying.
ISTP: such butts. best suited for an apocalypse scenario, if no such scenario exists, they will create danger because they get bored. don’t encourage them, but don’t discourage them, as reverse psychology works too well.
ISTJ: low drama and low maintenance, best value at this price tier. best suited to actual human existence. least weird, which makes them kinda weird.
ISFP: squishy little darlings you might want to keep in your pocket, but please don’t or they will become forlorn. they notice everything, and it’s unnerving.
ISFJ: quietly and proudly do things for others. if you have a ring you need to deliver to mordor, take an ISFJ along with you for best results.
INTP: cute intergalactic spiders you want to hug and mistrust. prone to making you laugh but then days later you will wonder whether you were the butt of the joke.
INTJ: major dicks and kinda proud of it. prone to being right. prone to liking trance music way too much. all the ones i’ve ever met have been unexpectedly kinky. so i guess, expectedly.
INFP: they fall out of the sky and are raised by unicorns. if you feed one it will follow you home. they dissipate in water.
INFJ: chameleons appropriating your emotions and going quietly mad. prone to meltdowns and needing lots of naps.
when you’re in a restaurant and have your food, and the waiter comes to see if “everything’s alright” and you’re just
why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me
Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.
Hello! My baby!
Hello! My honey!
Hello! My ragtime gOOD LORD HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh my god
this is the most accurate representation of working in 3D I have ever seen
This was basically my entire last summer.
I hate it.
chubby birds make me so happy
look at this precious thing oh my goodness
they are a bit cranky but they are just too cute
don’t talk shit though or it will end you
this has been a chubby bird appreciation post
late night, long-overdue tip guide on couples!!!! i’m sorry this isn’t a lot, considering the time it took me to finally upload it, but i hope it’s enough to get people started! :’-D
team aqua is still better than team magma